One Year And I'ts Still Surreal

It's really hard to believe that this coming Friday will mark the one year anniversary of my dream life coming to an end.  I am still left in a haze when I think about what has transpired over the last 365 days of my life.  I really don't think I will ever lose that feeling of disbelief.  The scars run deep and the pain I'm afraid, will follow me to my grave.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about what might have been.  What a wonderful life and family I once shared.  I love the boys will all my heart, and I try harder than ever to make them happy and fulfilled, but it's not the same.  It's hard to describe.  The boys, as strong as they are, feel it too.  There is just a void that lingers.......that permeates each day.  You try so hard as a single parent to distract the kids as much as possible to keep that void suppressed, but there are times.....certain instances, that invoke memories of a better time.  The emptiness that you feel during those times is difficult and sad.

I certainly hope that one day I will be able to make it through a day or a night without thinking or dreaming about my marriage to Lori, and the wonderful "family" we created and shared.  Everybody tells me that eventually I will be at peace with what has transpired, and time will wash away any pain and grief.  I hope they are right I guess, but forgetting about the dream that I worked all my life to obtain seems..............unfair.  I guess time is merciless for a reason.

On to better things:

The boys are enjoying the school year, and growing like weeds.  Not only are they physically growing, but mentally they are maturing faster that I could imagine.  Aidan is as smart as a whip, and I am constantly in awe of how easy he seems to absorb and process complex issues and problems.  He has a drive when it comes to learning, even at 11,  that I wish I would have had at any point in my life.  Christopher is also becoming more and more aware of his abilities.  He is reading way past his age, and something recently seems to have clicked when it comes to his studies and understanding what is needed to succeed.  If we can just get him to "like" school, instead of just "going" to school, than the sky is the limit. 

Both boys make me immensely proud, not matter what they are doing.  The are both polite, well spoken, and handsome.   Combine those attributes with their intelligence, athleticism and compassion, and you can understand why I think they both have very bright futures ahead of them.  I'm glad I have a front row seat. 

Last weekend I took the boys to see Captain America:  The Winter Soldier in IMAX 3D.  It was fantastic, and we all really, really enjoyed the movie.  We can't wait for the next one.  On the way out of the theater, I snapped a quick picture of my two favorite super heroes!

I really love the boys.......and I can't wait for our next adventure together.

William

P.S.  Again, I'm sorry for the delay in posting.  I'll do better.