I still don't understand any of this. I probably never will. It doesn't matter though........done is done. Lori will now pursue the "happiness" that she so desperately craves, and me.....well......I will sweep up the broken pieces of my dreams, and hope that I can someday find peace.
As all of you know, I never wanted any of this to happen. I grew up thinking that you marry one person in your life, and you make that marriage work.
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part"
I recited those words, and they really had meaning to me. Still do. Always will. Honor.
In the end, I got what I wanted in the divorce settlement. An equal distribution concerning the children. I guess I should be relieved. While I am happy that I got my time with the children, it did come at a steep cost.
I had always believed from the first day I met Lori, that she was the best human being that I had ever known. I have never hidden that revelation from her or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I have touted her goodness to all who would listen since I have known her. Unfortunately, after everything that has happened over the last couple of months, and the awful things I heard relayed from the mediator, I now have a different opinion of Lori's essence. For those of you that know me, there is no steeper price to pay.
I am proud of the way that I handled myself through this whole ordeal. I took the high road at all times, and never lashed out, or badmouthed Lori at any time. All of my friends, and all of the friends that Lori and I spent so much time with as a couple, will say the exact same thing. I can sleep well every night knowing I never changed my nature. I will take that honor to my grave.
Lori is a good mom. I have never wavered on that opinion. The boys love her, and they need her in their lives.
I want to apologize for the two times in my life that I raised my voice to Lori. The circumstances may have warranted a reaction, but I regret my demeanor and tone. I never should have lost my composure and yelled. I am however proud of the fact that it was only a couple of times in the 18 years that I have known her. How many husbands can say that?
I'm sure that on January 1st, I'll write another small eulogy, but other than that, no more marriage talk.
It's all about happy times with the boys from now on.
Thanks for taking the time to visit the blog. Writing about this terrible divorce has been cathartic for me. I hope to have brighter and more endearing stories for you in the not too distant future.
William
PS. One last look at a happier times.
C'est la vie
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