It's Monday, and I'm waiting on the boys. Lori is supposed to bring them to the house about 6:00pm tonight. Even though I was supposed to have them for the entire Thanksgiving break, I felt like the nice thing to do was to let Lori have them for a couple of days before I took them out of town. Hopefully she will have it in her heart to return the favor in the future.
THANKSGIVING....Hmmmm.....
I could probably spend an afternoon pontificating on why my "thanks" are less than optimum this year. In the end, it would just seem like belly aching. Yes, the world has been unfair, but I still have things to be thankful about.
I have two wonderful boys, each very unique, and each equally loved. I wouldn't want it any other way. Both are a challenge, and both provide tireless jollity. I thank the Lord each and every morning when I wake, and each evening before I sleep, for allowing them to be part of my life.
I am thankful for my health, (even though I've let myself fall out of shape again) It could be worse, and I wake almost physically pain free each day. That is more than most get to say.
I am thankful for my mother and brother. They have both helped me navigate this difficult time in my life, and I would not have been able to handle the stress without them.
I am thankful for my friends. Through all of these rough times, they have stuck right by my side, and giving me strength when I had exhausted all of my own.
Thoreau said:
“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual…O
how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my
bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.”
I felt that way when I was married. I hope I can someday return to that uninhibited bliss. In the mean time, I'll just concentrate on what I have now. It's enough.
I hope each and everyone of you have a great week. We are heading down to see Grandma and Uncle Jim in the morning, and should be home on Saturday night. I hope to have pictures and stories to share with you when we get back.
Have safe travels, and God Bless.
William
Monday, November 25, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Fun Boys!
A couple of weekends ago Christopher played in his last soccer game of the year, which was followed by his team's end of the year soccer party. The whole team met at Gatti Town for pizza and games. The kids all had fun, and it was fun for me to share Christopher's joy and laughter. Here he is entertaining one of his teammate's sister.
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He had a good season, and really seems like he is catching on. He sure was happy to get his second soccer trophy! I am so proud of him.
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All the boys certainly enjoyed this!
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When I finally got the boys back last week, I took them out for yummy MooYah Burgers! Mmmmmm................delicious.
Last Saturday morning, I took both of the boys to the morning IMAX 3D matinee of THOR:THE DARK WORLD. Wow, it was really good, and the boys absolutely LOVED IT! I have gotten so spoiled going to IMAX movies, that it's almost a letdown now if a movie is just playing on a "regular" screen. Just before we went into the theater, the boys posed for some pictures.
What a couple of cuties!
I am looking forward to next week, for I have the boys for Thanksgiving break. We are going to Temple to see Grandma and Uncle Jim. We will be there for 5 days, and we are all very excited.
I should have lots of pictures to share.
William
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He had a good season, and really seems like he is catching on. He sure was happy to get his second soccer trophy! I am so proud of him.
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All the boys certainly enjoyed this!
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I am looking forward to next week, for I have the boys for Thanksgiving break. We are going to Temple to see Grandma and Uncle Jim. We will be there for 5 days, and we are all very excited.
I should have lots of pictures to share.
William
Thursday, November 14, 2013
March 14, 1998 - Jan 1, 2014
It's done. The mediation papers are signed, and the demise of our once inviolable marriage is set in stone. Such a waste.
I still don't understand any of this. I probably never will. It doesn't matter though........done is done. Lori will now pursue the "happiness" that she so desperately craves, and me.....well......I will sweep up the broken pieces of my dreams, and hope that I can someday find peace.
As all of you know, I never wanted any of this to happen. I grew up thinking that you marry one person in your life, and you make that marriage work.
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part"
I recited those words, and they really had meaning to me. Still do. Always will. Honor.
In the end, I got what I wanted in the divorce settlement. An equal distribution concerning the children. I guess I should be relieved. While I am happy that I got my time with the children, it did come at a steep cost.
I had always believed from the first day I met Lori, that she was the best human being that I had ever known. I have never hidden that revelation from her or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I have touted her goodness to all who would listen since I have known her. Unfortunately, after everything that has happened over the last couple of months, and the awful things I heard relayed from the mediator, I now have a different opinion of Lori's essence. For those of you that know me, there is no steeper price to pay.
I am proud of the way that I handled myself through this whole ordeal. I took the high road at all times, and never lashed out, or badmouthed Lori at any time. All of my friends, and all of the friends that Lori and I spent so much time with as a couple, will say the exact same thing. I can sleep well every night knowing I never changed my nature. I will take that honor to my grave.
Lori is a good mom. I have never wavered on that opinion. The boys love her, and they need her in their lives.
I want to apologize for the two times in my life that I raised my voice to Lori. The circumstances may have warranted a reaction, but I regret my demeanor and tone. I never should have lost my composure and yelled. I am however proud of the fact that it was only a couple of times in the 18 years that I have known her. How many husbands can say that?
I'm sure that on January 1st, I'll write another small eulogy, but other than that, no more marriage talk.
It's all about happy times with the boys from now on.
Thanks for taking the time to visit the blog. Writing about this terrible divorce has been cathartic for me. I hope to have brighter and more endearing stories for you in the not too distant future.
William
PS. One last look at a happier times.
C'est la vie
I still don't understand any of this. I probably never will. It doesn't matter though........done is done. Lori will now pursue the "happiness" that she so desperately craves, and me.....well......I will sweep up the broken pieces of my dreams, and hope that I can someday find peace.
As all of you know, I never wanted any of this to happen. I grew up thinking that you marry one person in your life, and you make that marriage work.
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part"
I recited those words, and they really had meaning to me. Still do. Always will. Honor.
In the end, I got what I wanted in the divorce settlement. An equal distribution concerning the children. I guess I should be relieved. While I am happy that I got my time with the children, it did come at a steep cost.
I had always believed from the first day I met Lori, that she was the best human being that I had ever known. I have never hidden that revelation from her or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I have touted her goodness to all who would listen since I have known her. Unfortunately, after everything that has happened over the last couple of months, and the awful things I heard relayed from the mediator, I now have a different opinion of Lori's essence. For those of you that know me, there is no steeper price to pay.
I am proud of the way that I handled myself through this whole ordeal. I took the high road at all times, and never lashed out, or badmouthed Lori at any time. All of my friends, and all of the friends that Lori and I spent so much time with as a couple, will say the exact same thing. I can sleep well every night knowing I never changed my nature. I will take that honor to my grave.
Lori is a good mom. I have never wavered on that opinion. The boys love her, and they need her in their lives.
I want to apologize for the two times in my life that I raised my voice to Lori. The circumstances may have warranted a reaction, but I regret my demeanor and tone. I never should have lost my composure and yelled. I am however proud of the fact that it was only a couple of times in the 18 years that I have known her. How many husbands can say that?
I'm sure that on January 1st, I'll write another small eulogy, but other than that, no more marriage talk.
It's all about happy times with the boys from now on.
Thanks for taking the time to visit the blog. Writing about this terrible divorce has been cathartic for me. I hope to have brighter and more endearing stories for you in the not too distant future.
William
PS. One last look at a happier times.
C'est la vie
Monday, November 11, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
The Sweet Smell
I'm a bit late, but better late than never is what they say.
Last weekend Christopher's baseball season ended. It was a bittersweet ending for me. While I was happy for Christopher to receive his very first baseball trophy, I was sad that I would not get to continue teaching these kids my favorite sport for at least another 5 months. His last game was fun, and boy were the kids excited. Just look at that grin.
Congratulations buddy, you earned it!
I really enjoyed having the kids last weekend, we had a bunch of fun. One of the projects that we decided to conquer was making a bird house. Christopher was my shop helper, and he was great! He helped me measure the wood, and he helped with the design too. He wanted it to be different.
As you can see, it's different. He help me make it water tight, and to sand it, and he learned how to use wood filler to conceal the nail holes. Lastly, he helped me stain it. I think it turned out good. I call it our "Bird House Ark".
On Monday, while waiting outside Aidan's school to pick him up, Christopher worked on his homework.
After Aidan got in the truck, he and Christopher and I went for an afternoon ice cream snack. Mmmmmmmm........can't beat Baskin Robbins and their 31 flavors......
I dropped off the boys at school on Wednesday morning, and I have not gotten to see them since. It's a bit harder now that baseball season is over, and they are not having practice and games a few times a week. I am really looking forward to seeing them at Christopher's last soccer game tomorrow.
One last thing. We have been getting an awful lot of rain lately. That, combined with moderate temperatures, and my flower garden looks like spring. It's always nice to come home to an abundance of colors.
I hope each of you has a wonderful day. Take your time.......and "smell the roses"
William
Last weekend Christopher's baseball season ended. It was a bittersweet ending for me. While I was happy for Christopher to receive his very first baseball trophy, I was sad that I would not get to continue teaching these kids my favorite sport for at least another 5 months. His last game was fun, and boy were the kids excited. Just look at that grin.
Congratulations buddy, you earned it!
On Monday, while waiting outside Aidan's school to pick him up, Christopher worked on his homework.
One last thing. We have been getting an awful lot of rain lately. That, combined with moderate temperatures, and my flower garden looks like spring. It's always nice to come home to an abundance of colors.
William
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Complete
Emerson once wrote:
"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, how man would marvel and stare."
I look at that statement, and it makes me think of how much in our lives we take for granted. We go about our daily routines, often oblivious to the magnificence of our surroundings, or the complexities and congruences that must happen in perfect harmony to reach each specific point in time. Most of the time, we just plod forward hoping to reach our destination, and seemingly disregard the wonderment of the journey itself.
When is the last time that you woke up and said to yourself, "wow, thank you for another day"? What, waking up doesn't seem that remarkable to you? Well.....it should.
Think of all the things you are going to see today, and all of the decisions you are going to make. Life is full of wonder, fear, curiosity, love, heartbreak, happiness, deceit, longing and so much more. A gift if there ever was one. Appreciate the little nuances and details that happen throughout your day. Be thankful for the present that you get to unwrap each and ever morning.
It's the journey...
William
"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, how man would marvel and stare."
I look at that statement, and it makes me think of how much in our lives we take for granted. We go about our daily routines, often oblivious to the magnificence of our surroundings, or the complexities and congruences that must happen in perfect harmony to reach each specific point in time. Most of the time, we just plod forward hoping to reach our destination, and seemingly disregard the wonderment of the journey itself.
When is the last time that you woke up and said to yourself, "wow, thank you for another day"? What, waking up doesn't seem that remarkable to you? Well.....it should.
Think of all the things you are going to see today, and all of the decisions you are going to make. Life is full of wonder, fear, curiosity, love, heartbreak, happiness, deceit, longing and so much more. A gift if there ever was one. Appreciate the little nuances and details that happen throughout your day. Be thankful for the present that you get to unwrap each and ever morning.
It's the journey...
William
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