Temporary Insanity

I briefly wrote about our trip to Dollyworld's Splash Country in my latest blog entry. I purposely left most of the specific details out because quite frankly, I am trying to forget them. That being said, there is one part of the park visit that I will never forget.

Splash Country is like almost any other mainstream water park, with various slides, wave pools, lazy rivers, and splash areas. One thing that sets Dollywood's park apart is the fact that it is built on two tiers. There is an upper tier consisting of 2/3rds of the attractions, and a lower tier that is roughly 150-200 feet below the upper tier that contains the remaining attractions.

Well, it seems that one day while they were going over the plans for the park, some genius decided that it would be fun to build a 60 ft tower on the edge of the first tier, and construct a water slide that not only dropped the length of the tower, but keep right on going all the way to the bottom of the second tier. One straight shot, with no twist or turns.
This was not what I wanted to see, and I figured that Aidan would avoid this particular ride at all cost. I figured wrong, and as soon as he saw it, he was pulling both Lori and Me towards it with frightening ease. "What the hell"? I thought to myself, "surely he doesn't intend to ride that humongous thing". "Come on Dad, it will be fun" Aidan said. Fun? Fun? Ummmm......falling 20 stories on my backside is not my idea of fun. As a matter of fact, just climbing and standing on the top of a 60 foot tower ranks right up there with stubbing my big toe on the ol' fun-o-meter. "Are you too scared"? Wait....wait...Did my 5 year old son just ask his dad if he was "too scared" to do something that said 5 year old was willing to do? For some insane reason, the first words out of my mouth were "of course not, let's go". Oh Crap!

As we approached, I saw that the SLIDE OF DEATH had a height requirement. Oh yeah.....WHEW!......saved I thought.....until....wait, does that say 48"? Crap, Aidan is right at 48". Sure enough, we measured him at the base of the staircase, and the bar was touching his hair. "I made it dad" Aidan yelled "oh yeah"! Oh yeah indeed.

We started our journey up the spiraling stairs, and the whole way up all I could think about was how stupid I was for agreeing to accompany Lori and Aidan up this death tower. I hate heights. I have always hated heights. 60 ft towers are high. What was I thinking? With the slow moving line and the hoards of people, it took about 20 minutes of rail gripping terror to finally make it to the top. Once there, to my surprise and dismay, Aidan did not chicken out, and he was ready to go. Damn it!!

The tower is actually built with dual slides next to each other. They are separated by approximately 6 feet. The plan was for me and Aidan to go down each of the slides at the same time where Aidan would be there at the bottom to flag down the EMT's in order to restart my heart. No, not really, but that is exactly what I was thinking at the time. As we slowly made our way across the platform of terror, the executioner (actually the girl who worked there) stopped Aidan and told him that she would have to measure him. She did, and according to her chart, he was 1/4 inch too short for the ride and would not be allowed to slide down. Aidan was devastated, and began to cry. He and Lori would now have to make their way down the 20 flights of stairs, all the while pushing their way past the throngs of people waiting in line. Now I do not know if it was because the heat was getting to me, or if I simply did not want my son to think that I was a scared-y cat, or if I just did not want to walk past all those people, but for some insane reason, I completely lost my mind and decided to go ahead with the execution...err I mean ride.

I made my way to the slide and took a seat. Once you are sitting, a bit of the fear subsides because the ride creates a wall of water in front of you, and you cannot see anything. I assume they create this sight blocking wall of water to keep all but the truly deranged from standing back up and walking back down once they see the death plunge they are about to take. Even so, my heart was still racing. If you have ever watched the Luge event in the winter Olympics, that should give you an idea of what you are "supposed to" do. As you sit, you have a handle on each side of you to grab. You are "supposed to" use those handles to give yourself a little momentum to clear the edge. "Supposed to"...is the key word...and as it turns out, important in this instance.

The Grim Reaper walked over and told me to keep my arms crossed over my chest and my legs crossed at the ankles the whole way down, and then she screams GO. With that GO, you are supposed to give yourself that little push that I mentioned earlier and off you go. Well...not me....oh no......my adrenaline was pumping and I gave myself one big heave.

OH SHhhhhhhhh.........Whooooooaaaaa.....Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.......in that very instant I realized why you are supposed to ease yourself over the edge.....for I was suddenly free falling, and I could not feel anything but air between me and the slide. "Surely this is not designed this way" I thought. Well needless to say, the leg crossing plan suddenly and abruptly ended, and I looked like a large screaming upside down letter Y going down that slide. My rear finally touched the slide about 20 feet after I went over the edge, and then I started picking up serious speed. At that moment I realized there was a specific reason why they wanted me to keep my legs crossed. My flailing legs were now acting like a funnel, and all of the water on that 300+ foot slide was being force fed into my mouth, and up my nostrils and into my eyelids. Looking back, it was probably good that I was swallowing so much water, because the water going down my throat was the only thing that was preventing my son from hearing his father scream like a second grade school girl. "Please let it end" was all I could think about with the exception of "Please don't drown". After what seemed like an eternity, I finally came to a stop and let me tell you I could not get off that death trap fast enough.

I waited (still shaking with fright) at the bottom for Lori and Aidan to join me. By the time they had walked the stairs down, Aidan has stopped crying and was now just disappointed. I informed him of my terror, and told him to thank his lucky stars for that 1/4 inch, for it probably saved him some permanent scarring. I on the other hand now have a memory that will unfortunately remain frighteningly fresh for a long, long time.

William

Mountains of Mirth

I am looking out the window while I type this and getting more depressed with each passing key stroke. You see, for the last week I have been waking up to this view..... and now all I am seeing is the row of houses across our street. Night and day I tell you. There is just something about breathing in crisp 59 degree mountain air first thing in the morning that just makes you feel alive.

The Thornton family clan took a vacation last week. We piled into an airplane and flew to visit Lori's parents at their farm in the Smokey Mountains. Visiting their farm is always something special, as stress melts like butter with each passing minute. After a 1 hr delay at the airport to get a new plane, the remainder of the flight went very well. Christopher was very good and slept most of the flight, and Aidan was so engrossed in playing his PSP he hardly noticed most of the flight.

Lori's mother picked us up at the airport, and 1hr later we were far off the beaten path, and heading for alpine solitude. After arriving at their beautiful Log Home,we unpacked and prepared for our rural holiday. Like I said before, the stress of everyday life seems to just disappear the moment you step out of the car. The scenery is fantastic, and Steve and Dianne are wonderful host. As you pull up the driveway you are greeted with a rush of colors as Dianne's beautiful flower garden comes into view.
This was Christopher's first trip to the mountains and I must say, he enjoyed himself immensely. He loved riding on Gator (4x4 ATV) and enjoyed all of wildlife, farm animals, and food. Here is Christopher showing his appreciation for the Plum that his brother Aidan picked from one on the many fruit tress on their farm.Speaking of picking fruit, here is Aidan in action - picking and eating a peach.Aidan seemed to enjoy picking the fruit and eating it immediately. Very few of the ones that he picked actually made it into the basket. The same goes for the blueberriesand the wild blackberrieshe picked. He had a blast, and a full belly.

Aidan likes to ride around the farm on the Gator too, but he especially likes it when PawPaw takes him for a ride on his tractor. He was provided an extra special treat this year when PawPaw brought out his new tractor to give Aidan a ride.Yep, that big Massey Ferguson has all of comforts of home.....complete with AC, CD Player, and GPS. Oh, and to give you some perspective of how big it actually is, that truck that is sitting next to it is a Ford F250 4x4. No wonder Aidan is all smiles.
Most of the days were spent relaxing at the farm and either fishing, exploring, or frolicking in the pool. We did venture out a couple of days to check out some of the local attractions. One of those days was spent at Dollywood Splash Country. While Nana and Pawpaw took care of Christopher, Aidan and Lori and I set out on our journey. It was about an hour drive, and Wow let me tell you, that was quite an experience. Picture Los Angeles rush hour traffic combined with a NASCAR Mud wrestling championship and you get the picture. Aidan had great time at the park, and that is what matters. Lori and I got our pleasure out of knowing that we were looked upon as downright svelte amongst that crowd.

On Wednesday, we went to visit Steve's parents, and while we were there, Aidan and Dad played in the mountain Creek that runs in front of their house.It is an absolutely beautiful area, and the creek is even stocked with trout.While we were visiting, MaMaw Stokely found an old stuffed little monkey and gave it to Christopher. Do you think he enjoyed it?
On Thursday we drove about 20 miles away to have lunch in Hot Springs, North Carolina. It's a very small town that is known mostly for it's hot spring baths and it white water rafting companies. Here is a picture of Lori that was taken at the small restaurant were we had lunch. Notice Huck Finn's Whitewater Rafting store in the background.
Friday came in a flash, and after 7 days in country bliss we had to return to "city life". We took a few final picturesand then headed for the airport. The flight home could not have gone any better, with Christopher sleeping the entire way, and our luggage waiting for us as soon as we got to the baggage claim. After picking up Mystic at doggie day care, we finally arrived at our humble abode. Kitty was here to greet us when we arrived, and he was one happy feline.

We were all very sad to leave, and now we are all right in the middle of our rural withdrawals. I am sure that Nana and Pawpaw are now enjoying the peace and quiet, and we are all looking forward to the next time we get to gaze upon another stunning sunset at Poplar Springs Farm.
William

Land of The Free.....and Fun

The Thornton Clan made the trek down South this extended weekend to visit Grandma and Uncle Jim, and all of us had a wonderful time. Like usual, time flew by and it was over too quickly. There is just never enough time.

Lori worked a call shift in the ER on Wednesday night, and I must say, for someone that had absolutely zero sleep during the night, she did a fantastic job helping me get everything ready to go on Thursday morning. I really do not know how she does it. Keep me awake for 30 straight hours, including 14 of those spent working my rear off, and I would be a very unpleasant person to be around. Lori on the other hand, is always amicable to the "end". The "end" in this case meant.....until she fell asleep in the passenger's seat during mid sentence 2 minutes after getting on the road. Hey, she earned it.

The trip down was uneventful and quick, and we arrived at Grandma's house about 4:00pm. We spent the rest of the day visiting with Grandma, and we all watched the movie that Aidan has been begging to see. Dum Da Dum Dum.....Dum Da Dum.........Dum Da Dum Dum.....Dum Da Dum Dum Dum.....yep that's right.....Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ever since he got the Lego Indiana Jones video game for his PSP, he has been begging to watch the actual movies that his game is based on. The game actually covers Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade. While he would have like to see them all, we felt like the last two were a little too mature for his viewing, and he would have to wait until he was a bit older to see them. He enjoyed watching the "real" Indiana on the screen, and I got a kick out of seeing it again myself. Has it really been 27 years since it's release? Geesh that's scary.

Friday morning arrived and all of us were excited about celebrating our Nation's Birthday. We spent the day playing, and I even got the chance to go exploring with Aidan. I showed him a few of the places where me and my friends spent most of our time growing up. Unfortunately most of my old stomping ground that used to be untamed wilderness is now developed with nice fancy houses and big asphalt roads. The Arrowhead pits, frog ponds and dirt trails are now just distant memories. Even so, Aidan still enjoyed hearing about and seeing things from "way back" when dad was a kid. Grrrrrrrrr.

Friday night arrived and that meant it was time to go party! So me and Lori, both boys, and Grandma piled into the CX-9 and drove across town to the Fourth of July celebration. ( We would have like for Uncle Jim to have joined us, but unfortunately he had to work). We arrived in plenty of time to get set up in a prime watching spot. Here is a picture Grandma snapped just after we got situated.

The band started things off with the National Anthem, and while the rest of us stood and sang, Christopher was taking a break and catching a few Zzzz's. This peaceful somber did not however prevent him from showing his patriotism and respect by placing his right hand over his heart during Mr. Key's most famous song. The band started playing about 8:00pm, and we all enjoyed the music. Christopher had woken up by this time, and a rested boy plus a band playing can only mean one thing. DANCE TIME BABY!
CLICK ON THE ABOVE ARROW TO WATCH VIDEO

As the band started winding down, Lori snapped a quick picture of the Thornton Men.

The fireworks started at approximately 9:30pm and we figured that Christopher would have long since succumbed to a deserved night of peaceful somber. We figured wrong, and both he and Aidan gazed with wonderment as the night sky was illuminated with pyrotechnic marvels.

The fireworks lasted about 30 minutes and all of us had a great time. We made the trek back to the car, and by 10:30pm we are back at Grandma's house. By that time Uncle Jim had gotten off work and was waiting at the house for our arrival. Grandma, the boys and Lori were beat and headed off to bed, and Jim and I stayed up a few more hours and visited.

Saturday and Sunday were filled with lots of playing outside and eating good food. Jim and I set up a small pool for the boys to play in, and with Mom an unexpected participant, good times were had by all.

I will leave you with one last image. Here is Aidan as he is Channeling his inner Edvard Munch. It must be all the "screaming" that Christopher has been doing that inspired him. All we need is a bridge, and some vivid colors in the background, and we have another masterpiece on our hands. Our own little Expressionist.

William