Spring Is In The Air

I had the kids last weekend, and we were blessed with great weather for a change.  Hopefully all of that cold miserable snowy weather is behind us until next winter. 

We woke up early on Saturday morning to get to Aidan's basketball game by 8:00am.  Yes, 8:00am.  I know what you are thinking "who in the world schedules games that early"....you know what.......I was thinking the very same thing.  Wow, it's tough to get the boys up on a Saturday that early.   Lately though, it's gotten a bit easier.  I just lift Thunder up in their beds, and the wet dog kisses that follow do the job quicker than any other method I have tried.  Once they got up, we all had our wake up showers, a little breakfast, and off we went.

 Basketball was fun, and Aidan's team won in overtime for the second week in a row.  The boys are having a whole bunch of fun, and the team is 6-1 right now.  Pretty cool.

After basketball, we had just enough time to get home and get Christopher changed for his first soccer game of the season.  His team tied 2-2 but it was fun watching him play.  Christopher is growing taller and getting skinnier. Pretty much just the opposite of his dad.........grrrrrrr.   Anyway, you can sure tell the difference in his running this season.  He is much quicker, and no longer gets "catches" in his sides. 

After the soccer game, I had to rush to get Aidan to a birthday party.  The party was being held at a local paintball range.  The boys spent 3 hours decked out in full paintball regalia shooting restlessly at each other.  Aidan came home with 11 really nasty black and blue bruises all over his body, and a big smile on his face.  The boys had a blast. 

While Aidan was playing colorful warrior, Christopher and I hit up the local Popeye's Louisiana Chicken house.  It was Christopher's first time eating chicken on the bone, and he loved it.  After we left the restaurant, we came home and got into a heated game of saving the world in MARVEL Super Heroes Lego on Playstation. 

We had just enough time after Aidan's paintball excursion to get him changed into his baseball practice uniform, and get him over to baseball practice.  Whew, it was a long.....busy day. 

After baseball practice, we had dinner and then watched Despicable Me 2.  It was fun, and we had a great time.

Sunday we woke up a little later, and I made the boys pancakes.  After pancakes, we went to the lake to let Thunder frolic.  We all had fun.

After we left the lake, we stopped by a local water skiing park and watched to brave souls in the 55 degree water.  Some were pretty stinking good!

We spent the rest of the day playing around the house.  Everybody was plenty tired at bedtime, and Thunder was ready to crash with this buddy Christopher.

He is a cutie.

Friendship

I have many regrets in my life about a multitude of things.  The list is entirely too long for someone as young as I am, but that's life, and dwelling on those regrets is foolish.  There is one area in my life that is free from regret, and I have been more than blessed with my choices.  What is this area you ask?  Why friendship of course.

I have been lucky when it comes to friends.  I have been able to establish life long bonds with some of the most wonderful people you would ever want to meet.  Calling myself blessed is an understatement.

In the last year, I have probably relied on those friends more that necessary, but each and every time I needed help, eager volunteers were always just a phone call away.    I was always met with a simple "how can I help" without hesitation.   No man could ask for more.

I have made a point my entire life to keep the fires of friendship stoked, and keeping those bonds warm, active, and alive has always been on of my chief goals.  They say you can tell the quality of a man by the friends he chooses.  I really hope that's true, for it places me among the very elite.

About 4 years ago, I started a tradition of inviting good friends over on Super Bowl Sunday to celebrate the day with food and fun.  We start early in the morning, firing up the smoker, and seasoning 6 racks of the best pork baby back ribs on the planet.  This year was no exception, and many of my friends and their families helped continue this tradition at my new house. 

After seasoning the ribs and making a big pitcher of the best Bloody Mary's you ever tasted, we sit out by the smoker, and just enjoy each others company. 

This year we started about 9:30 in the morning.  Most years this would be done in the back yard, but inclement weather this year forced some changes.  I brought everything around to the front of the house, shielded from the North Wind, and we made good use of the garage.  While the smoker sat in the driveway outside in 14 degree temperatures under a canopy, we stayed in the garage enjoying each others company, as well as the toasty table top heater.

We drank Bloody Marys, played darts, possibly had had a cigar or two,  all while checking on the meat in the smoker every 30 minutes or so.  Because of the extra cold weather, my normal cooking time went from 4 1/2 hours to 6 1/2 hours.  This worked out perfectly, and the ribs were finished just in time to eat before kickoff.

Like I said earlier, it was wonderful to have so many of my friends and their families come by to spend the afternoon at my house.  The weather was awful, with freezing rain and a mix of snow to go along with the brutally cold temps.  They could have easily had a way "out", but all decided to make it anyway.  Like I said, I am blessed.

I wish the game would have been better, but I can assure you that everyone had a good time regardless.  I hope this tradition will continue for many years.

Later in the week, we were once again blessed (or cursed depending on how you look at it) with snow.  It was really cold, and most everyone I know was uncomfortable being outside.  Most, with one exception I should add............

Yep, you guessed it.........Thunder!   This was the first time that he saw snow, and wow did he have a good time.  It was hard to keep him inside.  He would just stand and whimper at the back door when I brought him inside.  I was afraid his young puppy paws would get frost bite.

Thunder is growing by the day, and I am so happy to have him.  He has really helped fill a void in my life, and I am grateful.  He is a full fledged puppy right now, so most of the time my carpet looks like this......

That's the remnants of the Star Wars Storm Trooper dog toy the boys picked out two days before.  I'm surprised it lasted two days to be honest.  He is one energy filled, sharp puppy teeth chewing machine.  It's easy to get upset with him, until he turns and gives you this look.....

Who could stay mad at that face for long?

William

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Lori's awful divorce was made official earlier today, and I am now a single dad.  Single.  Never in a million years would I (or anyone for that matter) have predicted that word would ever be applied to me again after March 14th, 1998. Everybody knew I was in our marriage it until my last breath, no matter what.

I will never in my lifetime understand what Lori was thinking, or why this happened.  A person is not supposed to change so drastically after spending 16 years so deeply in love.  It was certainly not right, and my confusion and pain will never go away.

It's a damn shame that the children and I will both have to carry this scar for our remaining lives.  I am lucky I guess, for my time left on earth is paltry compared to theirs.  I hate that they will wonder until their dying days how their lives would have been different if we would have remained together.  No, I don't believe for a minute it will possess them, but I do believe the thought will creep into their lives at various times to cast doubt.

Lori will tell you that her divorce has no bearing at all on how they grow up, but that's laughable.  Christopher and Aidan are both great kids, but to think they are ultimately better off being raised half the time by one or the other of their birth parents, is an exercise in justification.  It's simply not true.  Lori can tell you until her last breath that she made the right decision, but make no mistake, it was done for her and her alone, and unfortunately for the kids, short sighted and selfish. 

Me, well I will continue to live my life as I always have.  I cannot change who I am.....nor should I.

I believe Rudyard Kipling said it best:

“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble” 

William

Catching up

It seems like the new year is flying by.  It's hard to believe January is almost gone.  I think the main reason it is going so fast for me, is the addition of Thunder to my life.

It's no secret that I have had a hard time adjusting to the loneliness of my current life.  Like I've always said, I am a family man.  I am most at ease surrounded by my children and a loving and caring wife.  With that being nothing more than a fading distant memory, I needed something to help me feel wanted and needed.  I am happy to say that I have found a wonderful companion to help me in these tough times.  Yes, he is an absolute menace right now at 11 weeks old, requiring constant attention, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I need him just as much as he needs me.  When you have a partnership like that, nothing but good happens.  I can't wait to see what adventures are in store for us.  It's going to be fun.

As I have told you in the past, Aidan is playing YMCA winter REC basketball.  It is the first time he has ever played basketball, and I've got to tell you, it's been fun.  I have enjoyed watching him play almost as much as he has enjoyed being on the court.  The team is 3-1 with 3 games remaining.  I don't think basketball will take the place of baseball in Aidan's heart, but I know he is having fun, and that's a wonderful thing for a dad to see.

Christopher is growing bigger and smarter each and every day.  I love helping him with his homework on the days that I have him, and as a parent, there is nothing better than to hear your kids read out loud to you.  Christopher's reading has really taken off, and on the nights that I have him, he reads to me for a minimum of 20 minutes before he goes to bed.  I wouldn't trade those 20 minutes for anything.

Aidan has been enjoying his classes this year.  He has some challenging subjects, but he like I have said in the past, he is exceptionally smart.  I am so very proud of the young man he is becoming.  I see great things in his future.  Creative and smart is a good combination.  The sky is the limit.

I am surviving.  I am no where near the point where I want to be right now, but each day I'm better than the last.  Eventually, I will find my place, and forget about the mistakes I made in the past.  I have wonderful, smart, polite,  beautiful children, that I adore.  They are my reason for living, and proof that the last 17 years of my life weren't wasted.  Beauty abounds.  You just have to find it.

God Bless

William

Life Finds A Way

While I was watching Jurassic Park earlier today, and cringing at the flakiness that is Jeff Goldblum, his character actually said something that caught my attention.  "Life finds a way"  Now, what he was referring to in the movie has absolutely nothing to do with the nerve it tweaked in me, but it got me thinking about my current life.

Eight months ago, when Lori decided to change our lives forever, I truly thought I would not survive.  The will was gone, and I was lower than any man deserves to be.  Will is a funny thing.  With it, your strength is immeasurable, but lose it and weakness abounds. I focused on the love of my children to pull me out of the darkness, and it provided me with a reason to care.

Here we are at the beginning of 2014, and our divorce should become official in the next week or so.  Don't get me wrong, I am still immensely sad about the demise of our declared life long bond, but "life finds a way".  It does, and it will.

This year will bring new challenges, and I am certainly happy to have the absolute worst year of my life fading in the distance. I will use the love of my children as the motivation to keep pressing forward, and hopefully I will become a better father and a better man.

Now on to some better things.

For Christmas, I spent the week in Temple visiting my mother and brother.  It was very strange not having the kids around at Christmas.  While I really enjoyed my visit, nothing can take the place of my children's laughter and wonder as they explore the remnants of Santa's visit.  No matter how many years and Christmas days flow by, I will never get used to their absence. Jim and Mom did their best to help me feel welcome and wanted during my visit, and I am eternally grateful for their love.  I am blessed to have both of them in my life.

I left Temple on the Friday morning after Christmas bound for La Grange, TX.  Why La Grange?  Well, my house gets pretty lonely when the kids are gone, and I really wanted a dog to fill that void.  I did a bunch of research over a few months, and finally found the type and color Labrador Retriever I wanted at a breeder in La Grange.  I made arrangements to pick the dog up on my way home from Temple, and I could not be any more satisfied with my decision.

I was scheduled to get the boys the next day, and I kept the puppy a secret.  I wanted it to surprise the boys.  Lori dropped the boys off on Saturday afternoon, and I introduced them to their new dog.  They both loved him. 

His official AKC name is:  Christopher's Chaotic Thunder, but he goes by "Thunder".  I figured that Christopher needed a dog named after him, since Aidan has Mystic.  Mystic's official AKC name is:  Aidan's Mystic Valkyrie.  Now they both have beautiful loving dogs named after them.

Thunder is a handful, as all puppies are.  He turned 9 weeks old last Friday.  He is going to be special, and I can't wait to fill his life with love and wonder.  The adventures that we are going to share will fill the years to come with joy and happiness.

The boys and I did our Christmas together on the 28th.  We had a ball opening our gifts, and we all got more than we needed.  It was satisfying seeing the beautiful smiles on their faces, and feeling the love in their hearts.

I kept the boys through the remainder of Christmas break, which included New Years eve and day.  We stay up on New Year's eve, and shared sparkling apple cider at midnight.  Cheers boys, I will do my very best to make 2014 special.

I have some pictures to post, but I need to get them transferred to my computer from my phone.  I will have an update very soon with pictures.  In the mean time, I hope each of you reading this blog has a fantastic 2014, and you continue to come back to the blog to share in our adventures.

William

Happy New Year!!!!

I have been busy watching the kids for the second half of Christmas break, and unfortunately have not had time to update.  I will, very soon.  Sorry for the delay.

William

PS. One of the reasons for my delay can be seen below.

 Say hello to 8 week old "Thunder".  Yes he is cute...and yes he is an absolute handful!

The Inn Is Full

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men". 
 
Luke 2:10

 

Blue Blue Christmas

I'll be heading to Temple for Christmas about 8 hours from now.  I do this with a heavy heart.  Never in my life would I have ever imagined a scenario where I would be spending Christmas without my beautiful boys. 

I gave the boys back to Lori this morning, and now I start an 7 day stretch without getting to see them.  One of those 7 days is Christmas.  Is it right.....nope.  Is it fair.....nope.  Is it in the "best interest" of the boys......nope.  It's just wrong.

It's hard to describe the feeling of watching your children, and feeling their excitement on Christmas morning.  It's unfiltered joy.  Christmas mornings are so fulfilling as a parent, you wouldn't trade them for any amount of money.  It's one thing in life that's truly priceless.

I am going to miss all of that this year, and no matter how much I enjoy my visit to see my mom and brother in Temple, I will be immensely sad knowing that I am missing out on Christopher and Aidan's Christmas day joy.

It is what it is, and I will make it through.  Life goes on.  The shell gets a little harder. 

I hope each and every one of you reading this blog has a wonderful Christmas, and a happy and safe New Year.

God Bless,

William

4 Dozen And Counting

Wow, I don't feel 48.......well, at least mentally.  My body could sure use some help in it's fight with gravity, but my mind is as sharp as ever.

Lori was originally scheduled to have the boys for an 11 day stretch during Christmas.  It started last Wednesday, and was to last until the Saturday after Christmas.  I of course, am extremely bummed.

In a very sweet gesture, Lori called me a couple of days ago, and asked me if I would like to have the boys on my birthday.  I leaped at the chance, and I am really looking forward to seeing them later this morning.  That's a heck of a present right there.  Thanks Lori.

It's raining and cold outside today, but that doesn't matter.  Just spending time with the boys here at the house playing games and watching movies will be fun, and just what I wanted for my birthday.

Oliver Wendell Homes Jr once said:

"Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.”


I like that philosophy and think I'll keep following it.


William

Burrrrrr.....................

Nope, that's not some rural neighborhood in Alaska,  oh no, no, no, no......that's good ol' Little Elm, Texas.  Yep that's right, solid ice streets for all to enjoy.  The above picture is day three of the first ice storm of the year.

The ice storm came last Thursday night, and I had the boys all day on Friday.  Driving over to Lori's house to pick the up was not too bad Friday morning, as the 4 inches of sleet that we got was till not compacted, so 4wd worked great with my truck.  Once we got back over to my house, we spent most of the day in the 14 degree wind chill, sledding and sliding around the neighborhood.  It was a ton of fun.

Christopher's cheeks were happy to finally be inside.

We warmed up, and spent the rest of the day watching movies and playing around the house.  Driving them back to Lori's house on Saturday morning was quite the ordeal.  The streets were basically skating rinks, and the 8 mile journey to her house took about 45 minutes.  It was ugly. 

We still have plenty of remnants of the storm all around the neighborhood.  My yard is still solid white even 7 days later.  The streets have now warmed up enough to melt all of the ice.  Whew!

It looks like the next couple of weeks will be OK weather wise, but I saw a few minutes ago, that another big cold front is supposed to blow in around Christmas Eve.  I hope no precipitation comes with it, for I will be in Temple.  I would not want to drive home from there on the kind of roads we've had for the last few days.  Nope, no thank you.

I get the kids this coming weekend, and I am looking forward to spending some time with them.  Aidan has his first league basketball game on Saturday morning, and I can't wait.  It will be fun. Don't worry, I will have plenty of pictures!

William

Different........But Fun!

Last week Aidan and Christopher and I went to Temple to visit "Grandma" and "Uncle Jim" for Thanksgiving week.  It was the first holiday spent apart from Lori, and it was certainly a different feeling.

Because we are following the Texas Standard Possession Code for holidays, I had the kids from Friday the 22nd, through Sunday the 1st at 6:00pm.  It was my year for Thanksgiving, and yep.....if your Lori, 9 days is a long time to be away from the kids.  Too long in fact, so I decided to give her Sunday the 24th, and most of Monday the 25th.  It just didn't feel right to keep them away from her all that time.

I got the boys back on Monday night, and we left Little Elm at 9:00am Tuesday morning.   Traffic was great, and we rolled into Temple just in time for lunch at 11:30am.  Did I say lunch?  Well.....first time in Temple in a while, so there was no doubt about where I would be going to pick up lunch.  Clem Mikeska's BBQ baby!!!!   Mmmmmm......best brisket ever!!!

We had a wonderful time visiting with Grandma.  Uncle Jim had to work on Tuesday and Wednesday, but we filled our days with hikes, and playing in the back yard, and Indiana Jones movies.   Lots of fun indeed.

Thanksgiving was Thursday, and lots of eating, playing, and football watching was on the menu.

Dinner was delicious, and everybody had no problem clearing their plates!  The rest of the day was spent playing outside, playing the board game SORRY and just having fun.  It was great spending time with my family.  They have been so supportive of me, and I just can't thank them enough. 

On Friday, Christopher decided he had a bit of structural engineering stuck inside of him that just needed to come out.  So, no better way to scratch that itch than Lincoln Logs!  Yep, I know that anyone of you that is reading this blog, remembers those.  Been around forever, and still fun!

I know his Nana would be proud of him.  He built her house!  Way to go buddy!!!

We stay in Temple all the way until Saturday night.  Saturday was spent playing outside again, and watching Aggie football ( grrrr....).  While outside, I got a few last pictures.

After watching the Aggies get beat, we left for Little Elm at 10:30 on Saturday night.  As you can imagine, traffic was light, and we made good time.  My two little buddies tried to stay awake to help dad not get tired, but that lasted about 30 miles for Christopher, and 75 miles for Aidan.  The last 85 was spent quietly reflecting on the week.

It was certainly great to get to visit for 5 days.  That is the longest visit we have ever had to see Grandma and Jim.  Thanks for everything.  We had a blast.

While it was fun, I couldn't help but feel the void left by Lori's absence.  I guess holiday's will never be the same, and for that I am sad.  Lori's light always shined brightest during holidays. 

I can't wait for the next adventure with the boys of Camelot. 

William

Giving Thanks

It's Monday, and I'm waiting on the boys.  Lori is supposed to bring them to the house about 6:00pm tonight.  Even though I was supposed to have them for the entire Thanksgiving break, I felt like the nice thing to do was to let Lori have them for a couple of days before I took them out of town.  Hopefully she will have it in her heart to return the favor in the future.

THANKSGIVING....Hmmmm.....

I could probably spend an afternoon pontificating on why my "thanks" are less than optimum this year.  In the end, it would just seem like belly aching.  Yes, the world has been unfair, but I still have things to be thankful about.

I have two wonderful boys, each very unique, and each equally loved.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  Both are a challenge, and both provide tireless jollity.  I thank the Lord each and every morning when I wake, and each evening before I sleep, for allowing them to be part of my life. 

I am thankful for my health, (even though I've let myself fall out of shape again)  It could be worse, and I wake almost physically pain free each day.  That is more than most get to say.

I am thankful for my mother and brother.  They have both helped me navigate this difficult time in my life, and I would not have been able to handle the stress without them.

I am thankful for my friends.  Through all of these rough times, they have stuck right by my side, and giving me strength when I had exhausted all of my own. 

Thoreau said:

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual…O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.” 

I felt that way when I was married.  I hope I can someday return to that uninhibited bliss.  In the mean time, I'll just concentrate on what I have now.  It's enough.

I hope each and everyone of you have a great week.  We are heading down to see Grandma and Uncle Jim in the morning, and should be home on Saturday night.  I hope to have pictures and stories to share with you when we get back. 

Have safe travels, and God Bless.

William

Fun Boys!

A couple of weekends ago Christopher played in his last soccer game of the year, which was followed by his team's end of the year soccer party.  The whole team met at Gatti Town for pizza and games. The kids all had fun, and it was fun for me to share Christopher's joy and laughter. Here he is entertaining one of his teammate's sister.

He had a good season, and really seems like he is catching on. He sure was happy to get his second soccer trophy!  I am so proud of him.

All the boys certainly enjoyed this!

When I finally got the boys back last week, I took them out for yummy MooYah Burgers!  Mmmmmm................delicious.

Last Saturday morning, I took both of the boys to the morning IMAX 3D matinee of THOR:THE DARK WORLD.  Wow, it was really good, and the boys absolutely LOVED IT!  I have gotten so spoiled going to IMAX movies, that it's almost a letdown now if a movie is just playing on a "regular" screen.  Just before we went into the theater, the boys posed for some pictures.

What a couple of cuties!

I am looking forward to next week, for I have the boys for Thanksgiving break.  We are going to Temple to see Grandma and Uncle Jim.  We will be there for 5 days, and we are all very excited.

I should have lots of pictures to share. 

William

March 14, 1998 - Jan 1, 2014

It's done.  The mediation papers are signed, and the demise of our once inviolable marriage is set in stone.  Such a waste.

I still don't understand any of this.  I probably never will.  It doesn't matter though........done is done.  Lori will now pursue the "happiness" that she so desperately craves, and me.....well......I will sweep up the broken pieces of my dreams, and hope that I can someday find peace.

As all of you know, I never wanted any of this to happen.  I grew up thinking that you marry one person in your life, and you make that marriage work.

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part"

I recited those words, and they really had meaning to me.   Still do.  Always will.  Honor.

In the end, I got what I wanted in the divorce settlement.  An equal distribution concerning the children.  I guess I should be relieved.  While I am happy that I got my time with the children, it did come at a steep cost.

I had always believed from the first day I met Lori, that she was the best human being that I had ever known. I have never hidden that revelation from her or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I have touted her goodness to all who would listen since I have known her.  Unfortunately, after everything that has happened over the last couple of months, and the awful things I heard relayed from the mediator,  I now have a different opinion of Lori's essence.  For those of you that know me, there is no steeper price to pay.

I am proud of the way that I handled myself through this whole ordeal.  I took the high road at all times, and never lashed out, or badmouthed Lori at any time.  All of my friends, and all of the friends that Lori and I spent so much time with as a couple, will say the exact same thing.  I can sleep well every night knowing I never changed my nature.  I will take that honor to my grave.

Lori is a good mom.  I have never wavered on that opinion.  The boys love her, and they need her in their lives.

I want to apologize for the two times in my life that I raised my voice to Lori.  The circumstances may have warranted a reaction, but I regret my demeanor and tone.   I never should have lost my composure and yelled.   I am however proud of the fact that it was only a couple of times in the 18 years that I have known her.  How many husbands can say that?

I'm sure that on January 1st, I'll write another small eulogy, but other than that, no more marriage talk.

It's all about happy times with the boys from now on. 

Thanks for taking the time to visit the blog.  Writing about this terrible divorce has been cathartic for me.  I hope to have brighter and more endearing stories for you in the not too distant future.

William

PS.  One last look at a happier times.

C'est la vie

Darkness Finally Won

Cynical times my friends..........

William

The Sweet Smell

I'm a bit late, but better late than never is what they say.

Last weekend Christopher's baseball season ended.  It was a bittersweet ending for me.  While I was happy for Christopher to receive his very first baseball trophy, I was sad that I would not get to continue teaching these kids my favorite sport for at least another 5 months.  His last game was fun, and boy were the kids excited.  Just look at that grin.

Congratulations buddy, you earned it!

I really enjoyed having the kids last weekend, we had a bunch of fun.  One of the projects that we decided to conquer was making a bird house.  Christopher was my shop helper, and he was great!  He helped me measure the wood, and he helped with the design too.  He wanted it to be different.

As you can see, it's different.  He help me make it water tight, and to sand it, and he learned how to use wood filler to conceal the nail holes.  Lastly, he helped me stain it.  I think it turned out good.  I call it our "Bird House Ark".

On Monday, while waiting outside Aidan's school to pick him up, Christopher worked on his homework.

After Aidan got in the truck, he and Christopher and I went for an afternoon ice cream snack.  Mmmmmmmm........can't beat Baskin Robbins and their 31 flavors......

I dropped off the boys at school on Wednesday morning, and I have not gotten to see them since.  It's a bit harder now that baseball season is over, and they are not having practice and games a few times a week.  I am really looking forward to seeing them at Christopher's last soccer game tomorrow.

One last thing.  We have been getting an awful lot of rain lately.  That, combined with moderate temperatures, and my flower garden looks like spring.  It's always nice to come home to an abundance of colors.

 I hope each of you has a wonderful day.  Take your time.......and "smell the roses"

William

Complete

Emerson once wrote:

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, how man would marvel and stare."

I look at that statement, and it makes me think of how much in our lives we take for granted.  We go about our daily routines, often oblivious to the magnificence of our surroundings, or the complexities and congruences that must happen in perfect harmony to reach each specific point in time.  Most of the time, we just plod forward hoping to reach our destination, and seemingly disregard the wonderment of  the journey itself.

When is the last time that you woke up and said to yourself, "wow, thank you for another day"?  What, waking up doesn't seem that remarkable to you?  Well.....it should.

Think of all the things you are going to see today, and all of the decisions you are going to make.   Life is full of wonder, fear, curiosity, love, heartbreak, happiness, deceit, longing and so much more.  A gift if there ever was one.  Appreciate the little nuances and details that happen throughout your day.  Be thankful for the present that you get to unwrap each and ever morning.

It's the journey...


William

If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/ralph_waldo_emerson_3.html#Td2MxOrMJRbDpvsb.99

If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare.
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Peripheral Damages

For the very first time since I became a father, tonight marks the first time that I won't get to go trick or treating with my children.  I can't begin to tell you how sad and resentful that makes me.  I live for little family things like that.  Halloween just happens to fall on a Thursday this year, which is Lori's day with the kids, so I'm out of luck.

It probably doesn't seem like much to most, but it's hard to find a more jovial time in a child's life, The boys get to dress up as cool characters, and knock on people's doors for gobs and gobs of candy.  How cool is that?  It's always been a blast being part of that, and I'm really going to miss it.  Sad.


Happy Halloween Boys.

The Gian Lorenzo Bernini of Pumpkins!

One of the things that I have always done for the boys is to make them a special Jack O Lantern each Halloween.  When I asked Christopher last week what he wanted, well......lets just say he did not pick the easiest subject.  He said that he wanted Minions.  Yes Minions like the ones in the movie Despicable Me.  Well shoot, after looking at a few pictures online, I knew that I had my work cut out for me.

I picked up the pumpkin on Sunday, and after picking up the boys on Monday afternoon from school, we picked out the pattern that would define our masterpiece.  After spending at least an hour just creating that image on the pumpkin, we were ready to begin our adventure.

Feeling like Bernini with a block of Marble, I carefully chose my tools.  Normally, a small pumpkin saw would do the trick, but not this year.  No, no no no no.....this beast would require a Dremel and my clay sculpting tools.  Yes, I'm serious.

5 hours, and many, many "sailor" words later, long after both boys had long since been in the land of slumber, I had my St. Teresa in Ecstasy. 

Without further adieu, I present Minion Madness

The boys loved it, and seeing the smiles on their faces this morning made all the hassle worth while.

Happy Halloween Boys!!!  You make life FUN!!!!

William

A Teacher, A Warden, A Buddy, A Father

You read stories about people that have cheated death, and how much more they value every breathing moment afterward.  They see life from a different perspective.  Small, trivial, mundane happenings that were once just an afterthought in an otherwise normal day, blossom into vivid, heartfelt memories.

I kind of get that same type of feelings when my weekends with the kids arrive.  Each moment is doubled in it's worth.  You find yourself relishing whatever role you have to take on at that moment.  Sometimes it's a referee.......constantly assessing fairness and doling out penalties when necessary.  Sometimes it's a teacher, trying to make sure your children truly understand the lessons that you are trying convey.  Sometimes you are buddy, laughing and joking as if a sibling.  Most importantly though, you are a father.  Ever vigilant, ever protective, ever loving.

Saturday morning we got up early, and after having breakfast, decided to watch The Natural.  The Natural happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time.  It holds a really dear place in my heart, and it makes me think of my dad every time I watch it.  You can imagine how much emotional I was watching it for the first time with both my children.  They both loved the movie, and each was jumping around the room during the final scenes.  A small thing on an insignificant day, but I guarantee you that I will never forget that moment.

After the movie, we left for Christopher's noon baseball game.  I love Christopher's games.  It is so much fun coaching these little kids.  To see the wonder in their eyes as you explain the very basic fundamentals of the game to them is like hugging innocence.  They are just there to have fun.  So many times, that portion of our children's games, is just.....absent.  Too many expectations from too many people.   Not at this age.  Not now.  Delight just beams from their smiling faces as you tell them "way to go" and give them a high five after barely hitting the ball past the pitcher's mound.  You want to stay young?  Coach a bunch of 5 and 6 year old kids on game day.  Inspirational. 

After Christopher's baseball game, we went for a quick lunch at Whataburger.  Lori joined us, and we got the boys fed in time for Christopher's 2:00pm soccer game.

We all had fun watching the game, and Christopher's team won the game 7-3.  Christopher, played pretty well, but you could tell he was tired from playing a baseball game that ended just an hour before.

We spent the rest of the day at my house playing games and watching sports and movies.  It was fun.

Sunday we woke up early and went for donuts.  I think one of the most unfair things in life is the fact that donuts taste so good, but are so bad for you.  Believe me when I tell you the boys share my philosophy.  They could live on donuts if you let them.  I could too.....although involuntarily briefly I suppose.

After donuts we rested a bit, and then got Aidan ready for his very special day.  Sunday was Aidan's first day of  Jr. Cotillion.  I got Aidan registered a few weeks back.   If you are not familiar with Jr. Cotillion, this link will explain what they teach and why I think it's an important prelude to becoming a well rounded young man.

Frisco Cotillion

Aidan and Christopher and I went shopping for "fancy" clothes last week, and Aidan sure looked handsome in his "preppy" coat and tie.

I was very proud of him, and he had a really good time at the meeting/dance.  He and I are both looking forward to the next one. 

While Aidan was at Cotillion, Christopher and I went to Dave and Busters fun and games, and had a great time playing in the Midway.  Christopher hit quite a few "jackpots" on some of the games of chance, and walked out of there with many neat prizes.

We picked up Aidan on our way home, and grabbed some lunch.  After we ate, and let our food settle for a while, I decided to take the boys fishing.

Wow, it had been too long since I went fishing with the boys.  Again, doing things like that takes me back to me childhood, and all the days I spent with my brother and dad fishing on lake Belton.  Good times my friends......good times.....

The boys had a blast, and so did I.  The funny thing is......I didn't even fish.  I just helped them with the worms, and had more fun than should be legal just watching their eyes light up when their corks would go under, and they would set those hooks.

How great is that?  As a dad, it doesn't get much better.

How did they do?  Both caught fish, and both had lots of fun!

Not the biggest fish in the world, but I guarantee you that Christopher didn't care.  He was.......pardon the pun..........HOOKED!

A great weekend indeed.

William

Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!!!!

I get the boys back today!!!!  Woo Hoo!!!

It's been 5 long days since I last had the boys. (It really seems like longer to be honest.)  I am now in a state of anticipation.

Today is a school holiday, and all of the students had their parent teacher meetings today.  Lori and I met with Christopher's teacher this morning at 9:30am, and it could not have gone better.  Christopher is doing wonderful in his class, and he is excelling in everything.  I am so proud of him.

After Christopher's meeting, I met Lori and Aidan at his school for Aidan's conference.  His was done a bit differently, as he was expected to basically give a presentation to us about his progress.  After that, each of his 7 teachers came by our table to meet with us.  It also went very well, and Aidan is doing fantastic in school.  Again, I could not be more proud.

Since it is Monday, I was scheduled to get the kids, but Dianne (Lori's mother) is in town, so I agreed to let them spend the afternoon visiting with her.  It was difficult, because it's been so long since they were over here last, but I just felt like it was the right thing to do.  Lori will be dropping them off at the house at 5:00pm this afternoon, and I am certainly looking forward to it.

After they get here, at some time this evening, we are going to go out and get Aidan a Navy Blazer, Khakis, a dress shirt and a tie.  He has his first Cotillion on Sunday afternoon, and he is really looking forward to it.  To be honest, so am I.  It's just another step along the ladder of growing up.  It will certainly help him with his manners, and most importantly, teach him to treat and respect girls.  The socialization will be great.  I of course will have plenty of pictures.

In the mean time, I guess I should pick up the house a little bit in anticipation of the dual hurricanes that are about to hit.

William

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Once again, the kids are gone for the next five days.  Although we have all adjusted well to the schedule that we implemented 15 weeks ago, it still gets very quiet around here during the down time.

Sure I have the opportunity to work on making my business profitable during this down time, and I have lots of time to clean and do all the chores around the house, but nothing beats the stomping and laughing and screaming of inquisitive kids.

I know, I know, "how could you miss the screaming and fighting" is what you ask?  Well, as odd as it sounds, you really do.  The interaction, whether positive or a teaching moment, is equally missed when you are separated.

Will it ever be different?  Will that longing ever go away?  In my case, I really doubt it.  Christopher and Aidan are just too entwined in my being to ever get comfortable with their absence.   Does a person that loses a hand or a foot ever really get over it not being there?  Certainly they adapt, they overcome, but they never totally lose the sensation of their lost extremity.  When the kids are gone, it's the same type of feeling.  You feel their presence even though you know they're not with you.  Odd I know, but for me.......eternal.

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence.

William

Some Of This, Some Of That

Some of this.

As I told you in my blog about a week ago, I made changes to the final divorce decree I was sent by Lori and her attorney.  The changes that I made mimicked exactly the agreements we made and signed on our Rule 11 temporary orders.  I sent them back to Lori and her attorney last week with my fingers crossed, and a hoped and a prayed they would be accepted.  Accepting them would give us a real chance at closure.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, I briefly heard back from my attorney at the end of last week, and he let me know that they were not accepted, and we would now be going on to mediation.

Mediation is ideal for many couples.  It allows couples having difficulty finding common ground, a chance to find solutions to many of their problems without having lawyers present.  It's just you and your spouse and an unbiased mediator.   Well, in my opinion, Lori and I have already done the mediation thing, but without the third party observer.  When we were trying to finalize our Rule 11 Temporary orders, we mediated all of our differences, and came to a mutual agreements on all.  Like I said in the past, that Rule 11 agreement contained the absolute limit to my concessions.  The final divorce decree that I just submitted reflects that limit, so any additional mediation is kind of redundant and might be pointless.  There is no way on God's green earth that I am going to agree to seeing my children less that the 48% that I capitulated to on the Rule 11 Temporary Orders.  

As our temporary orders stand right now, Lori gets the children 14 more days a year than me.  Lori - 189 days......Me - 175 days.   I agreed to this in order to find a quick solution to our divorce.  I knew by doing so, it would cause the least amount of turmoil in the children's lives, and we could both move on to a much happier place.

Lori's final decree, (the one that I was so disappointed with and made changes to) has a visitation break down like this. Lori - 250 days a year.......Me - 105 days a year.  As you can see, that is a ludicrous suggestion, and one that I'm still scratching my head about.  All of you have been reading this blog long enough to know how deeply important my children are to me, and how much of a factor and influence I am to their lives.  To think that I would agree to that, or that any judge or jury in the world would agree that the children would be better off with that schedule is sheer lunacy.  So, unless something drastically changes, after mediation, a long drawn out court battle is next.

Here is a good article about mediation

http://www.mediate.com/articles/jamesb1.cfm

As you can see, the average length of mediation is 3 months, and after that, the average length of a litigated case in the courts is 18 months.  Yep, we could still be married until 2015.  Think about that.  Wow, that stinks.

Some of that.

The boys and I have been having fun for the last few days.  The weather has been noticeably cooler, and we have certainly taken advantage.  We have been bike riding and spending much more time outside. 

I got Aidan signed up to play in a winter basketball league at the YMCA.  His team is being coached by two good friends of mine, and two of Aidan's good friends are also on the team.  Everything is great, except one small problem.........Aidan has never played organized basketball before.  Hmmm.......better start doing something about learning the rules, and the nuances before the season starts in December.

I took both the boys over to the local elementary school on Saturday.  We rode our bikes there, and I took along the basketball.  While Christopher frolicked on the playground toys, I began teaching Aidan about the game of basketball.  He has some work to do before the season, but I think it's going to be super fun in the end.  Here he is........Aidan "Nothing but Net" Thornton.

After his basketball lesson, he joined Christopher on the playground.  "Hey, let's play follow the leader"

After the game of follow the leader, it was on to "fake like your going to push Christopher off the platform".  Oh yeah,  that went well......and earned Aidan the "Icy Stare of Death" from Christopher.

Yikes!!!!  That even scared me.  I believe Aidan was counting on his fingers exactly how long he had to live.

Just before we left, I looked over, and Christopher was letting me know he was ready for his driver's license.

I guess he was practicing for when he purchases that exotic Lamborghini in Italy that only comes in right hand drive.  Hey, a boy can dream......right?

Thanks for stopping by, and I'll have another update soon.

William