March 14, 1998 - Jan 1, 2014

It's done.  The mediation papers are signed, and the demise of our once inviolable marriage is set in stone.  Such a waste.

I still don't understand any of this.  I probably never will.  It doesn't matter though........done is done.  Lori will now pursue the "happiness" that she so desperately craves, and me.....well......I will sweep up the broken pieces of my dreams, and hope that I can someday find peace.

As all of you know, I never wanted any of this to happen.  I grew up thinking that you marry one person in your life, and you make that marriage work.

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part"

I recited those words, and they really had meaning to me.   Still do.  Always will.  Honor.

In the end, I got what I wanted in the divorce settlement.  An equal distribution concerning the children.  I guess I should be relieved.  While I am happy that I got my time with the children, it did come at a steep cost.

I had always believed from the first day I met Lori, that she was the best human being that I had ever known. I have never hidden that revelation from her or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I have touted her goodness to all who would listen since I have known her.  Unfortunately, after everything that has happened over the last couple of months, and the awful things I heard relayed from the mediator,  I now have a different opinion of Lori's essence.  For those of you that know me, there is no steeper price to pay.

I am proud of the way that I handled myself through this whole ordeal.  I took the high road at all times, and never lashed out, or badmouthed Lori at any time.  All of my friends, and all of the friends that Lori and I spent so much time with as a couple, will say the exact same thing.  I can sleep well every night knowing I never changed my nature.  I will take that honor to my grave.

Lori is a good mom.  I have never wavered on that opinion.  The boys love her, and they need her in their lives.

I want to apologize for the two times in my life that I raised my voice to Lori.  The circumstances may have warranted a reaction, but I regret my demeanor and tone.   I never should have lost my composure and yelled.   I am however proud of the fact that it was only a couple of times in the 18 years that I have known her.  How many husbands can say that?

I'm sure that on January 1st, I'll write another small eulogy, but other than that, no more marriage talk.

It's all about happy times with the boys from now on. 

Thanks for taking the time to visit the blog.  Writing about this terrible divorce has been cathartic for me.  I hope to have brighter and more endearing stories for you in the not too distant future.

William

PS.  One last look at a happier times.

C'est la vie

Darkness Finally Won

Cynical times my friends..........

William

The Sweet Smell

I'm a bit late, but better late than never is what they say.

Last weekend Christopher's baseball season ended.  It was a bittersweet ending for me.  While I was happy for Christopher to receive his very first baseball trophy, I was sad that I would not get to continue teaching these kids my favorite sport for at least another 5 months.  His last game was fun, and boy were the kids excited.  Just look at that grin.

Congratulations buddy, you earned it!

I really enjoyed having the kids last weekend, we had a bunch of fun.  One of the projects that we decided to conquer was making a bird house.  Christopher was my shop helper, and he was great!  He helped me measure the wood, and he helped with the design too.  He wanted it to be different.

As you can see, it's different.  He help me make it water tight, and to sand it, and he learned how to use wood filler to conceal the nail holes.  Lastly, he helped me stain it.  I think it turned out good.  I call it our "Bird House Ark".

On Monday, while waiting outside Aidan's school to pick him up, Christopher worked on his homework.

After Aidan got in the truck, he and Christopher and I went for an afternoon ice cream snack.  Mmmmmmmm........can't beat Baskin Robbins and their 31 flavors......

I dropped off the boys at school on Wednesday morning, and I have not gotten to see them since.  It's a bit harder now that baseball season is over, and they are not having practice and games a few times a week.  I am really looking forward to seeing them at Christopher's last soccer game tomorrow.

One last thing.  We have been getting an awful lot of rain lately.  That, combined with moderate temperatures, and my flower garden looks like spring.  It's always nice to come home to an abundance of colors.

 I hope each of you has a wonderful day.  Take your time.......and "smell the roses"

William

Complete

Emerson once wrote:

"If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, how man would marvel and stare."

I look at that statement, and it makes me think of how much in our lives we take for granted.  We go about our daily routines, often oblivious to the magnificence of our surroundings, or the complexities and congruences that must happen in perfect harmony to reach each specific point in time.  Most of the time, we just plod forward hoping to reach our destination, and seemingly disregard the wonderment of  the journey itself.

When is the last time that you woke up and said to yourself, "wow, thank you for another day"?  What, waking up doesn't seem that remarkable to you?  Well.....it should.

Think of all the things you are going to see today, and all of the decisions you are going to make.   Life is full of wonder, fear, curiosity, love, heartbreak, happiness, deceit, longing and so much more.  A gift if there ever was one.  Appreciate the little nuances and details that happen throughout your day.  Be thankful for the present that you get to unwrap each and ever morning.

It's the journey...


William

If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/ralph_waldo_emerson_3.html#Td2MxOrMJRbDpvsb.99

If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/ralph_waldo_emerson_3.html#Td2MxOrMJRbDpvsb.99

Peripheral Damages

For the very first time since I became a father, tonight marks the first time that I won't get to go trick or treating with my children.  I can't begin to tell you how sad and resentful that makes me.  I live for little family things like that.  Halloween just happens to fall on a Thursday this year, which is Lori's day with the kids, so I'm out of luck.

It probably doesn't seem like much to most, but it's hard to find a more jovial time in a child's life, The boys get to dress up as cool characters, and knock on people's doors for gobs and gobs of candy.  How cool is that?  It's always been a blast being part of that, and I'm really going to miss it.  Sad.


Happy Halloween Boys.

The Gian Lorenzo Bernini of Pumpkins!

One of the things that I have always done for the boys is to make them a special Jack O Lantern each Halloween.  When I asked Christopher last week what he wanted, well......lets just say he did not pick the easiest subject.  He said that he wanted Minions.  Yes Minions like the ones in the movie Despicable Me.  Well shoot, after looking at a few pictures online, I knew that I had my work cut out for me.

I picked up the pumpkin on Sunday, and after picking up the boys on Monday afternoon from school, we picked out the pattern that would define our masterpiece.  After spending at least an hour just creating that image on the pumpkin, we were ready to begin our adventure.

Feeling like Bernini with a block of Marble, I carefully chose my tools.  Normally, a small pumpkin saw would do the trick, but not this year.  No, no no no no.....this beast would require a Dremel and my clay sculpting tools.  Yes, I'm serious.

5 hours, and many, many "sailor" words later, long after both boys had long since been in the land of slumber, I had my St. Teresa in Ecstasy. 

Without further adieu, I present Minion Madness

The boys loved it, and seeing the smiles on their faces this morning made all the hassle worth while.

Happy Halloween Boys!!!  You make life FUN!!!!

William

A Teacher, A Warden, A Buddy, A Father

You read stories about people that have cheated death, and how much more they value every breathing moment afterward.  They see life from a different perspective.  Small, trivial, mundane happenings that were once just an afterthought in an otherwise normal day, blossom into vivid, heartfelt memories.

I kind of get that same type of feelings when my weekends with the kids arrive.  Each moment is doubled in it's worth.  You find yourself relishing whatever role you have to take on at that moment.  Sometimes it's a referee.......constantly assessing fairness and doling out penalties when necessary.  Sometimes it's a teacher, trying to make sure your children truly understand the lessons that you are trying convey.  Sometimes you are buddy, laughing and joking as if a sibling.  Most importantly though, you are a father.  Ever vigilant, ever protective, ever loving.

Saturday morning we got up early, and after having breakfast, decided to watch The Natural.  The Natural happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time.  It holds a really dear place in my heart, and it makes me think of my dad every time I watch it.  You can imagine how much emotional I was watching it for the first time with both my children.  They both loved the movie, and each was jumping around the room during the final scenes.  A small thing on an insignificant day, but I guarantee you that I will never forget that moment.

After the movie, we left for Christopher's noon baseball game.  I love Christopher's games.  It is so much fun coaching these little kids.  To see the wonder in their eyes as you explain the very basic fundamentals of the game to them is like hugging innocence.  They are just there to have fun.  So many times, that portion of our children's games, is just.....absent.  Too many expectations from too many people.   Not at this age.  Not now.  Delight just beams from their smiling faces as you tell them "way to go" and give them a high five after barely hitting the ball past the pitcher's mound.  You want to stay young?  Coach a bunch of 5 and 6 year old kids on game day.  Inspirational. 

After Christopher's baseball game, we went for a quick lunch at Whataburger.  Lori joined us, and we got the boys fed in time for Christopher's 2:00pm soccer game.

We all had fun watching the game, and Christopher's team won the game 7-3.  Christopher, played pretty well, but you could tell he was tired from playing a baseball game that ended just an hour before.

We spent the rest of the day at my house playing games and watching sports and movies.  It was fun.

Sunday we woke up early and went for donuts.  I think one of the most unfair things in life is the fact that donuts taste so good, but are so bad for you.  Believe me when I tell you the boys share my philosophy.  They could live on donuts if you let them.  I could too.....although involuntarily briefly I suppose.

After donuts we rested a bit, and then got Aidan ready for his very special day.  Sunday was Aidan's first day of  Jr. Cotillion.  I got Aidan registered a few weeks back.   If you are not familiar with Jr. Cotillion, this link will explain what they teach and why I think it's an important prelude to becoming a well rounded young man.

Frisco Cotillion

Aidan and Christopher and I went shopping for "fancy" clothes last week, and Aidan sure looked handsome in his "preppy" coat and tie.

I was very proud of him, and he had a really good time at the meeting/dance.  He and I are both looking forward to the next one. 

While Aidan was at Cotillion, Christopher and I went to Dave and Busters fun and games, and had a great time playing in the Midway.  Christopher hit quite a few "jackpots" on some of the games of chance, and walked out of there with many neat prizes.

We picked up Aidan on our way home, and grabbed some lunch.  After we ate, and let our food settle for a while, I decided to take the boys fishing.

Wow, it had been too long since I went fishing with the boys.  Again, doing things like that takes me back to me childhood, and all the days I spent with my brother and dad fishing on lake Belton.  Good times my friends......good times.....

The boys had a blast, and so did I.  The funny thing is......I didn't even fish.  I just helped them with the worms, and had more fun than should be legal just watching their eyes light up when their corks would go under, and they would set those hooks.

How great is that?  As a dad, it doesn't get much better.

How did they do?  Both caught fish, and both had lots of fun!

Not the biggest fish in the world, but I guarantee you that Christopher didn't care.  He was.......pardon the pun..........HOOKED!

A great weekend indeed.

William

Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!!!!

I get the boys back today!!!!  Woo Hoo!!!

It's been 5 long days since I last had the boys. (It really seems like longer to be honest.)  I am now in a state of anticipation.

Today is a school holiday, and all of the students had their parent teacher meetings today.  Lori and I met with Christopher's teacher this morning at 9:30am, and it could not have gone better.  Christopher is doing wonderful in his class, and he is excelling in everything.  I am so proud of him.

After Christopher's meeting, I met Lori and Aidan at his school for Aidan's conference.  His was done a bit differently, as he was expected to basically give a presentation to us about his progress.  After that, each of his 7 teachers came by our table to meet with us.  It also went very well, and Aidan is doing fantastic in school.  Again, I could not be more proud.

Since it is Monday, I was scheduled to get the kids, but Dianne (Lori's mother) is in town, so I agreed to let them spend the afternoon visiting with her.  It was difficult, because it's been so long since they were over here last, but I just felt like it was the right thing to do.  Lori will be dropping them off at the house at 5:00pm this afternoon, and I am certainly looking forward to it.

After they get here, at some time this evening, we are going to go out and get Aidan a Navy Blazer, Khakis, a dress shirt and a tie.  He has his first Cotillion on Sunday afternoon, and he is really looking forward to it.  To be honest, so am I.  It's just another step along the ladder of growing up.  It will certainly help him with his manners, and most importantly, teach him to treat and respect girls.  The socialization will be great.  I of course will have plenty of pictures.

In the mean time, I guess I should pick up the house a little bit in anticipation of the dual hurricanes that are about to hit.

William

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Once again, the kids are gone for the next five days.  Although we have all adjusted well to the schedule that we implemented 15 weeks ago, it still gets very quiet around here during the down time.

Sure I have the opportunity to work on making my business profitable during this down time, and I have lots of time to clean and do all the chores around the house, but nothing beats the stomping and laughing and screaming of inquisitive kids.

I know, I know, "how could you miss the screaming and fighting" is what you ask?  Well, as odd as it sounds, you really do.  The interaction, whether positive or a teaching moment, is equally missed when you are separated.

Will it ever be different?  Will that longing ever go away?  In my case, I really doubt it.  Christopher and Aidan are just too entwined in my being to ever get comfortable with their absence.   Does a person that loses a hand or a foot ever really get over it not being there?  Certainly they adapt, they overcome, but they never totally lose the sensation of their lost extremity.  When the kids are gone, it's the same type of feeling.  You feel their presence even though you know they're not with you.  Odd I know, but for me.......eternal.

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence.

William

Some Of This, Some Of That

Some of this.

As I told you in my blog about a week ago, I made changes to the final divorce decree I was sent by Lori and her attorney.  The changes that I made mimicked exactly the agreements we made and signed on our Rule 11 temporary orders.  I sent them back to Lori and her attorney last week with my fingers crossed, and a hoped and a prayed they would be accepted.  Accepting them would give us a real chance at closure.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, I briefly heard back from my attorney at the end of last week, and he let me know that they were not accepted, and we would now be going on to mediation.

Mediation is ideal for many couples.  It allows couples having difficulty finding common ground, a chance to find solutions to many of their problems without having lawyers present.  It's just you and your spouse and an unbiased mediator.   Well, in my opinion, Lori and I have already done the mediation thing, but without the third party observer.  When we were trying to finalize our Rule 11 Temporary orders, we mediated all of our differences, and came to a mutual agreements on all.  Like I said in the past, that Rule 11 agreement contained the absolute limit to my concessions.  The final divorce decree that I just submitted reflects that limit, so any additional mediation is kind of redundant and might be pointless.  There is no way on God's green earth that I am going to agree to seeing my children less that the 48% that I capitulated to on the Rule 11 Temporary Orders.  

As our temporary orders stand right now, Lori gets the children 14 more days a year than me.  Lori - 189 days......Me - 175 days.   I agreed to this in order to find a quick solution to our divorce.  I knew by doing so, it would cause the least amount of turmoil in the children's lives, and we could both move on to a much happier place.

Lori's final decree, (the one that I was so disappointed with and made changes to) has a visitation break down like this. Lori - 250 days a year.......Me - 105 days a year.  As you can see, that is a ludicrous suggestion, and one that I'm still scratching my head about.  All of you have been reading this blog long enough to know how deeply important my children are to me, and how much of a factor and influence I am to their lives.  To think that I would agree to that, or that any judge or jury in the world would agree that the children would be better off with that schedule is sheer lunacy.  So, unless something drastically changes, after mediation, a long drawn out court battle is next.

Here is a good article about mediation

http://www.mediate.com/articles/jamesb1.cfm

As you can see, the average length of mediation is 3 months, and after that, the average length of a litigated case in the courts is 18 months.  Yep, we could still be married until 2015.  Think about that.  Wow, that stinks.

Some of that.

The boys and I have been having fun for the last few days.  The weather has been noticeably cooler, and we have certainly taken advantage.  We have been bike riding and spending much more time outside. 

I got Aidan signed up to play in a winter basketball league at the YMCA.  His team is being coached by two good friends of mine, and two of Aidan's good friends are also on the team.  Everything is great, except one small problem.........Aidan has never played organized basketball before.  Hmmm.......better start doing something about learning the rules, and the nuances before the season starts in December.

I took both the boys over to the local elementary school on Saturday.  We rode our bikes there, and I took along the basketball.  While Christopher frolicked on the playground toys, I began teaching Aidan about the game of basketball.  He has some work to do before the season, but I think it's going to be super fun in the end.  Here he is........Aidan "Nothing but Net" Thornton.

After his basketball lesson, he joined Christopher on the playground.  "Hey, let's play follow the leader"

After the game of follow the leader, it was on to "fake like your going to push Christopher off the platform".  Oh yeah,  that went well......and earned Aidan the "Icy Stare of Death" from Christopher.

Yikes!!!!  That even scared me.  I believe Aidan was counting on his fingers exactly how long he had to live.

Just before we left, I looked over, and Christopher was letting me know he was ready for his driver's license.

I guess he was practicing for when he purchases that exotic Lamborghini in Italy that only comes in right hand drive.  Hey, a boy can dream......right?

Thanks for stopping by, and I'll have another update soon.

William

Game Ball Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to give a quick shout out to my little baseball buddy.  Yesterday Christopher played a fantastic baseball game.  He played short stop, and made three really good plays in the field.  He also had a good hit off of live pitching, and another hit off the tee.  All his great effort was rewarded with his very first GAME BALL from the coach!

Way to go buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so very proud of you.  You keep me young, and I am thankful every day of my life for having such wonderful boys. 

William

Enjoying My Kiddo Time

For 6 years now, I have been writing about my family, and keeping everybody who reads it, informed about our daily or weekly happenings.  Even during this difficult time, I have continued to do the same.  It is hard at times, but cathartic too.  I wish I could speak to all of you that read the blog on a regular basis, but since I can't, I hope my writing makes you feel like all of you are still part of my, and the children's lives.  I want to thank each and every one of you for taking time out of your busy days to stop by and gain a sliver of incite on our feelings and routines.  It still means the world to me. 

Lori's attorney finally sent over her version of the Final Divorce Decree.  It was a real eye opener.  I had hoped and assumed it would mimic the Temporary Orders that we both worked so hard on to approve.  It represented the sacrifices and compromises we made in the best interest of the children.  If it had, our divorce would be final now.  Unfortunately, it was much different, and many of the proposed changes were out of the question.  I cannot for the life of me understand why Lori wants to change our original agreement.  To do so, makes no sense at all.  I was extremely disappointed to say the least.

I of course had to make many changes to her "Final" version, and my attorney has been working on making those corrections and sending it back to Lori and her attorney.  It should happen today or tomorrow.  With my changes, I have tried once more, and for the final time, to be fair with my response.  In fact, I actually penned two different "Final" versions, and submitted both to my council.

The first version I submitted to my attorney mimics the Temporary Orders that Lori and I agreed upon.  When I agreed to the Temporary Orders, they represented the absolute threshold of my sacrifices and compromises.  Those compromises were done in the best interest of the children, and would allow Lori and me to move on gracefully and amicably with our lives.  If she accepts this version, which is essentially the same one she agreed to 8 weeks ago, our divorce will be final in the very near future.

If Lori declines the version that mimics our Temporary Orders, then she will receive my second, and final version.  It is drastically different than our Temporary Orders, and it will land us in a very long, expensive and drawn out court battle.  It's unfortunate, and for all of you that know me, the very last thing I want to do to the kids.  I simply will not have a choice.

The kids are, and have always been the most important thing in my life.   I have been their primary care giver for at least the last 5 years, and I will not sacrifice any additional time away from them.

So, there you have it.  Not an encouraging update on my life, but as always, I have hope.   Anyway, on to some more positive things.

This was my weekend to have the kids.  It looked like both Aidan's and Christopher's ball games were going to be rained out on Saturday, so since Lori would not be seeing them on that day, she asked for a bit of extra time Friday.  I, being the kind of person I am,  said yes.  Lori ended up dropping them off at my house around 6:30pm Friday afternoon.

The rain that I mentioned earlier, actually started on Thursday night.  As a matter of fact, it actually started right in the middle of Aidan's baseball game.  Let me tell you, it was an absolute deluge.  Cats and dogs doesn't even begin to describe it.  Unfortunately for us, when the bottom just fell out of the sky, we still had a 500 yard walk/run to make to the vehicles.  Woo Wee, we got DRENCHED!    Soaked to the bone.  Not good, especially for Lori, who had come straight from work and was wearing a dress.  YIKES!

So, it rained all night Thursday and the majority of the day on Friday.  We really needed it.  It had been a long time since we had seen a rain like that.  Normally, rain like that is always a good thing, but like I stated earlier, it's not good if you are planning on playing sports.

Christopher's baseball game was cancelled on Saturday morning like we thought it would be, but his soccer game at noon was still supposed to be played.  Lori met us at the fields about 11:45am and the kids prepared to play their game.  After all of the teams arrived on all the fields (probably 20 teams), the geniuses in charge decided to actually look at the fields.  Well, what do you think they saw?  Ant piles......a whole bunch of ant piles on every field.  Now, mind you, these ant piles didn't just pop up in the 10 minutes it had been since we arrived.  No....I can assure you that they had been there all morning long.  Yep, it took hundreds of families to arrive, park and walk over to the fields, before the brain trust that is Frisco Soccer actually decided to walk the fields.  ALL GAMES WERE THEN CANCELLED!  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!

After we left the fields (angry I might add), Lori joined Aidan and Christopher and me for lunch.  We all went to MooYah burger, and feasted.  The boys absolutely love their hamburgers.  We left there full and happy.

Later that day, I decided to do something crazy.  Aidan and Christopher both received gift cards to ToysRus from Kenny and Hailey for their birthdays.  For some insane reason, I decided to take them to the store on a Saturday afternoon.  For those of you who have been to a ToyRus on a Saturday, you already know how completely insane that store gets.  Kids everywhere you look!  Not only that, but more toys than you thought possible.  I swear I think Christopher touched almost each and every one of them.  1 1/2 hours after arriving, the boys had finally made their purchases.  Whew....that was a beating....

 

 

 After we got home, the boys were knee deep in their new prizes, and having a ball.

We got some pizza on Saturday night, and watched some fun movies.  We had a blast.

On Sunday, Aidan had baseball practice.  I took the kids to the field.  While Aidan made his way over to the diamond, Christopher made a bee line to the playground.

Lori met us at the field, and while I helped with practice, she and Christopher got to play on the MerryGoRound!  Wooo Hooo

It was a fun day for all, and we got some much need rest on Sunday evening.

I have the kids until tomorrow night, so I'm sure there are more adventures in store.  I'll keep you all informed, and hopefully have many more pictures soon.

William

P-A-R-T-Y T-I-M-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Friday we celebrated Aidan's 11th birthday at Main Event.  Aidan and his friends got to enjoy bowling, laser tag, and lots and lots of video games.  Everybody had a fun time.

For Aidan's main birthday present, Lori and I decided to get him a new mobile phone.  He's had his HTC mobile phone for over 2 years, and has never lost or broken it.  That is quite an accomplishment for a 8-10 year old kid.  His new phone is a Samsung Galaxy S4 Active.  It is really a cool phone.  You might have seen the commercials, praising its waterproof ability.  He can actually take it underwater in a swimming pool and take pictures if he was so inclined.  Obviously, he was ecstatic when he opened the gift.

We arrived at Main Event around 6:30pm and the kids all started bowling.  There were 12 of them there, so as you can imagine, it was pretty crazy.  They all seemed to have a really fun time.

After bowling, the whole crew, including Christopher "dead eye" Thornton disappeared into the laser tag battle room, and prepared for Armageddon.  30 minutes later they emerged from the front lines, smiling and sweating from their mini laser war.

Before video games, it was cake time.  Lori really outdid herself on his sugary delights.  First up was this delicious looking chocolate cake.

Next were the awesome MineCraft cupcakes Lori spent far too much making.

Enjoying a little brotherly love.

I'm not even sure what this is??????

Blowing out the candles!!!!!!!!!!

After everyone was filled to the brim with yummy cake, it was video game time.  All the kids had a fantastic time.

Here is Aidan and his brother sharing a scary interactive plane ride together.  Isn't that great!!

And last but not least, a very proud father hugging his birthday boy.  That is one handsome duo if I do say so myself........ ;-)

Another birthday past.  Wow, they are growing up too fast.  I still can't figure out how they keep getting older, but I do not..........amazing I would say!!!!

William

MonkeyBoy X11

11 years ago today I was blessed.  I did not know my purpose in life until I heard the faint muffled cries of the most beautiful gift a man could ever receive.  An Angel........A SON.

Since that day, I have worked tirelessly to help Aidan become a better student, a better athlete, a better friend, and an all around fine young man.  I have succeeded past my wildest dreams.

It's hard to explain the immense pride that I carry daily, knowing that Aidan is one day going to carry on the Thornton name.  I could not ask for a better thought to keep me going in these tough times.

Happy Birthday MonkeyBoy.  You are special.

I love you buddy!

William

A New Baseball Player, And A Proud Dad!

Last Saturday marked Christopher's very first baseball game.  He is participating in a "modified" coach pitch league, and it was a blast watching him play for the first time.  Obviously, most of the kids at this age are severely lacking quality coordination.  They sure try hard though, and I really get a kick out of being on the field with Christopher helping him learn the game I love so much.

Here is Christopher swinging for the fences in his very first at bat.

Here is Christopher playing short stop.  Yep, that's me in background showing his teammate Ethan how to get down on a ground ball. 

After the game we came back to my house to get Christopher changed into his soccer uniform.  His first soccer game of the years was also Saturday, and let me tell you, it was Africa HOT out there.  Bless those kid's hearts......they were suffering.  That, combined with the fact that one of the opposing players was the son of a major league soccer player, made for a very long day.  That boy was a true phenom.  Unbelievable.

I'm really looking forward to tonight.  Aidan has his second game of the season tonight.  They won their first last Wednesday 11-3.  I'll have pictures soon.

William

Dumbfounded

The impudence and audacity of some people is simply astounding.  I will never understand how some people go about their lives with so little regard for others.  I can only hope and pray that bitterness, that so readily rises from such circumstances, subsides before the point of disdain and contempt.  Unfortunately, I think after tonight, it's probably too late.

This blog will mark the very fist time in 6 years of writing about the family, and in 17 years of knowing Lori, I am forced to show or speak about her in a negative light.  It's painful, and makes me terribly sad to even comprehend. 

I have always taken pride in knowing that I have a soft heart.  I trust people.  Normally it's a blessing, but tonight it's a curse.  I trusted Lori one last time and it has cost me.  I really thought her word was her bond.  I took it to heart when she and I signed the temporary orders two months ago that we were trusting each other one last time, and after the divorce was final we would move on to our new lives.

Everything was going great, and the attorneys were drawing up the final papers.  I was finally going to be able to breathe a sigh of relief, and be able to pay my mother back for the unselfish sacrifice she made that allowed me to move out of our house, and into a new house.  A sacrifice that was made because of the amicable nature of Lori and my relationship, and the nature of the temp orders we signed. A sacrifice, that I'm afraid will now turn into a very real burden for her.  For that, I am horrified, and truly sorry.  I would never have let her help me if I had even the slightest inclination that Lori would change the agreement.  I feel terrible.

The call came out of the blue from Lori yesterday letting me know that she no longer agrees with our temporary orders, and we will be starting over from scratch concerning custody of the children.  She informed me that she would be seeking much greater custody.  What?  Is this some kind of joke?   What?

Nope, no joke, and I am almost as confused and disappointed right now, as I was the day she told me she wanted a divorce.  How can something like this happen?  We had a plan that was working.  She is a good mom, and I am a good dad.  Best of both worlds.  Sure the kids dislike not having mommy and daddy in the same house, but that is something that they are always going to have to get used to now.  She claims it's for the "stability" of the children.  Oh, this should make our situation much more stable.  Spending thousands and thousands of dollars in court and attorney costs over the next year and subjecting our friends and families to hours and hours of court interrogatories and hearings should do wonders for the kids "stability".

I will never understand this.  I will now be forced to fight tooth and nail for everything I can.   She will do the same.  Great.  Just what the kids need....to see us fighting with each other constantly.  Just what we need...to end up hating each other...perfect.  We were doing so well.  Really getting along better than we have in the last year.  Why now?........It really makes no sense.

She thinks the best thing for the kids will be to wake up in the same house everyday of school.   That would be great if we lived together, but to get that now would take visitation nights away from one of the parents.....meaning me!  That is what she is thinking.  What?  Like I'm just going to let that happen.  Of course I'm not.  No judge in his or her right mind would take my time with those kids away.  They need their father.  I have plenty in the bank to support the kids and myself until I find a good paying job.  I also have my home inspection business to fall back on.  That's not an issue, and certainly has nothing to do with the kids stability.  Nope not a thing.  Those kids will never want for anything.

So, now I have more stress than ever, and I will probably have an eternal shell around my heart for ever.  There is no way I'm letting anyone else in there.  Perfect...really appreciated Lori...... :-(

Hopefully her attorney will dissuade her from such a rash and unproductive action.  I am proud to say, that even though it would mean more fees and money for him, my attorney would.

William

Summer's Ending

Well, another summer has come and gone.  No, I'm not talking about the heat, for that is still here with a vengeance.  No, I'm talking about the summer break for the kids.  Yep, they started back to school today.  It went by very quickly, but I must admit, I was not too upset about it's demise.  It was sure different than the previous summers spent doting, teaching, and frolicking with the boys.  Nope, this one was hard.

Two weekends ago, I was without the kids, so I decided to drive down to Temple to see my mom and my brother.  I got to Temple on Saturday morning about 11:00, and it was sure nice to see mom greet me at the door.  It was really strange visiting without the kids, or Lori for that matter, but I really enjoyed my time there.  We stayed around the house for the most part, but that's what I needed.  We ate well, watched some good movies, and just had fun visiting with each other.  While I was there, mom set aside a few things for me to take back to the new house.   As I was looking at them, I came across this sad sight tucked away in soon to be forgotten drawer......what a shame....  :-(

I did end up with some really nice things though, and I  added them to the ambiance of the house once I got home Sunday afternoon.

On Tuesday I had a tough choice to make.  Unfortunately, I was torn between taking Christopher to his first baseball practice, and taking Aidan to "meet the locker" night at his Jr. High.  Well, I figured there were going to be many baseball practices in the future, but there was only going to be one "get your first school locker" night.  I decided to take Aidan, and Lori was nice enough to agree to take Christopher to practice even though it was my night for the boys.

It was really funny seeing all of the new 6th graders getting so excited about their new lockers.  They really make a big deal about it, and allow the students to decorate the inside of their locker however they wish.  While the vast majority of the boys just threw their books in their locker and called it a day, the girls were an entirely different story.  Wow, you would not believe some of the elaborate setups that I saw.  I'm talking fully carpeted walls with tiny chandeliers hanging from the ceiling elaborate.  No, I kid you not.  It was crazy!

And of course, Christopher "slugger" Thornton ready for action!

Look at that form!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I said in my previous post, Thursday was my baby boy's 6th birthday.  We had a party at JUMP STREET for Christopher, and a few of his friends.  JUMP STREET is an indoor trampoline park, and it is really cool.  All sorts of trampoline rooms.  Dodge ball trampoline rooms, huge foam pit trampoline rooms, mechanical bull trampoline rooms........etc.   You get the picture......Just really amazing.  Everybody had a great time.

Christopher with his friend Conrad, explaining the finer points of rope swinging into the foam pit.

Blow baby Blow!!

Not just happy......Skylanders Happy!

Just his color.

A little brotherly love.

Senor Aidan!

Great fun was had by all that attended.

After the party, we had just enough time to go to our homes and relax for about an hour, and then it was on to Christopher's "meet the teacher" night at his school.

I met Lori and the boys at Allen Elementary, and we went over to the "classroom" board to find out who Christopher would be tormenting.......uh I mean....to find out who Christopher would have as a teacher.  Mrs.  Childress was the answer, and Christopher was really happy.  He knew her from last year, and it's who he was hoping to get.  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After "meet the teacher", we left the school, and headed to the baseball field for Aidan's scrimmage.  Whew, it was a busy day and night.  After two hours of watching Aidan play baseball, it was finally time to call it a night.  I hugged the boys bye, and off they went to Lori's house.  That's always hard........

I had the boys for last weekend, and we had a really good time.  Aidan had two friends spend the night over here, and everybody played great together and had lots of fun.  4 boys and just me.......what was I thinking?  Actually, it was great, and was surprisingly easy.  I smoked a 3 lb. rib filet on the smoker for about 3 hours on Friday night, and the boys devoured about half of it.  It turned out great!  We had pancakes and eggs in the morning, and everybody went home happy and full.

Although I was supposed to have the kids until Wednesday morning, I decided to let Lori have them on Sunday night.  This morning was their first day of school, and I thought it would just be easier on the first day if they rode the bus.  Lori was happy to get them, and each called me from the bus stop before they left.  Oh how I wish I could have been there.  I'm sorry I had to miss that.  It's always exciting watching them on their first day back.  Maybe next year.......

Here is our big 1st grader looking a little apprehensive.

Aidan looking anticipatory.

 Aidan waiting with his friends Matt (7th grade), and his little girlfriend Maddie.(6th grade)

I say "little" strictly for age purposes.  Maddie just turned 11 and she is 5'7" tall.  Wow, and I thought Aidan was tall for his age. 

Thanks Lori for sending me the pictures.  It helped.

William

6 And Counting

Today is my baby boy's 6th birthday.  Even though he will eventually dwarf me when he is grown, he will always be my baby.  I will post a bigger update with pictures in the next couple of days.  I just want to say that my life would be empty without my children.  Each birthday is another notch on the belt of fatherhood.  I love both my boys more than anything in the world.

Happy Birthday little buddy!

William

Momma I'm Coming Home......

Well, seeing as I'm not going to get to see the kids until Sunday afternoon at baseball practice, I'm going to go to Temple early tomorrow morning to see my mom and brother.  That's one one to shake that loneliness.  I'm really looking forward to seeing them. 

In the mean time, I worked on the mancave garage today, and it's starting to come around.  I got all of my bar mirrors hung, my electric sign up and running, and my dart board put in place.  The previous owner left his surround sound system wired and in place in the garage, along with a receiver and 5 disc changer.  The adult beverage fridge is plugged in, and is chilling as I type.  Sweet!!!!!!

Half finished.......

Now I just need to finish cleaning up the other half, and I will be ready to start doing some more wood working.  I can't wait!

William

And Just Like That...They Were Gone......

I really enjoyed the weekend with my monkeys.  I picked them up from camp on Friday afternoon, and I have been able to enjoy their company until this morning when Lori stopped by to pick them up.  Boy, it sure is quiet now........

We had a wonderful time this weekend.  Now that time is halved, it seems like you try to pack as much "fun" and things to do in each day as you can.  Not nearly as much time for just relaxing.  I don't think I'll ever get used to that.

My good friends Liam and Elaine were kind enough to leave me the keys to their house and pool while they were on vacation.  They have a beautiful pool.

The boys and I took full advantage of their hospitality, and swam for hours on Saturday and Sunday. The camp on the lake they have been attending has been good for them, as they are both "swimming" (dog paddling for Christopher) like fish now. 

The last couple of days were spent indoors and outdoors.  Yesterday, I took the boys to a local baseball field, and worked on some fundamentals.  Christopher is slowly but surely getting the hang of things.  He starts his first season of baseball next week, so getting him ready is a challenge.  I'm sure he'll pick it up quickly.  I am ready to see him shine, just like his big brother.

Speaking of Aidan, he has been a real help in the teaching process, and it chokes me up to see he and Christopher on the field together.  It's moments like these I wish would last forever.

I promised pictures of the house, but I'm not there yet.  Soon.

Well, I guess I need to start cleaning up the house.  It's amazing what kind of mess can be made in just 5 days with those two monkeys around. I'll miss the clutter.

I imagine, since I won't have the boys again until next Monday afternoon, I'll have plenty of time to do blog updates.  Heck, I have so much time now without the boys here, you might start getting tired of reading about my life.

William

Quiet Is Hard

Well, just like I figured, this single life is not for me.  Like I stated in the past, I'm a family man.  I enjoy having and being part of a family.  Seeing the kids only half the time really stinks.  Sure, we make the best of it when we do get to see each other, but come on, who in their right mind wants half of what makes them happiest in the world.  Not me, that's for sure. 

I of course miss Lori too.  I miss the companionship.  I miss the conversations.  I miss doing nice things for her.   Sure, the last six months have been challenging, and I've had to deal with many issues and feelings that I would not wish on my worst enemies, but I still felt part of something meaningful and enjoyed the giving.  Oh well.....

The new house is nice, and I have been working very hard to make it a home.  It's amazing how much stuff you accumulate during 17 years while living with someone else.  It's taken me forever to move and get things put where they belong.  I've got a mountain of boxes stacked on the side of the house in the back yard waiting for bulky trash day.  The trash man's going to hate me.

I have not lived alone in over 17 years.  Haven't wanted too.  Wow it's different.  Quiet is hard.  I've just spent my time trying to get the house ready, and it's kept me busy.  Now that thing are coming around, and winding down, I'm a bit scared of the upcoming down time.  It's going to be pretty lonely when the kids aren't here.

The attorneys are still working out the final details of this awful divorce.  Soon Lori and I will no longer be married.  It still seems impossible to me, but it's true.  We will both be fine, and we will move on to new chapters in our lives.  If the next chapters are half as much fun as the ones that passed with Lori, I'll be content.

As soon as I have everything in the house complete, I'll post a bunch of pictures of my new home.  I'm really proud of how it looks, and the boys love it.  There is a huge yard for the boys to play in.  Of course, it's been about 105 degrees recently, so we have not been spending too much time back there.  We will, but it's got to cool down a bit first.

This is my weekend with the monkeys.  I can't wait to pick them up from camp this afternoon.  We are going to have a great time.  I'll fire up the grill, we'll play some video games, we'll play some baseball, and do some swimming.  I'll have to get double the hugs to make up for the time they're not here. 

They are both growing up so fast.  It seems like their childhood is flying by at breakneck speed.   Now it will seem twice as fast, since I only see them half the time. That's a sad thought. 

I should have pictures ready to post by Tuesday of next week.  I can't wait to show the house off, and I should have some of the monkeys too.

God Bless

William

Exhale...............................

The move has been made.  I am staring at a mountain of boxes.  I finally got my computer hooked up.  An update on my life is coming very soon.  Thanks for sticking with me.  I'm certainly not used to that anymore.

William